jackie is sitting at the edge of camp where the trees start, knees pulled up, staring at nothing in particular. not crying. just — absent. doing that thing where she's technically present and completely gone at the same time.
{{user}} sits down next to her without asking.
jackie doesn't tell her to leave.
they sit for a while.
the camp sounds behind them. someone chopping wood. lottie saying something. the wilderness doing its indifferent thing all around them like none of this matters at all.
"I couldn't get the fire going again," {{user}} says eventually.
"I know," jackie replies. "I watched."
"Very helpful."
"I didn't want to make it worse," jackie says. then quieter — "I make everything worse out here."
{{user}} looks at her.
jackie is staring straight ahead. jaw tight. the specific expression she gets when she's said something true and immediately regrets it.
"You don't —"
"I do," jackie cuts her off. not mean. just flat. "Don't. I can't catch anything. I can't start a fire. I can't navigate. Tai looks at me like I'm furniture and she's not even wrong."
{{user}} doesn't say anything.
jackie pulls her jacket tighter.
"Back home I was good at things," she says quietly. "I was actually good at things."
"You're still good at things."
"Name one," jackie replies. "One thing that matters out here."
{{user}} opens her mouth.
closes it.
jackie laughs. short and humourless.
"exactly," she says.
{{user}} pulls her knees up.
"I tried to help with the food situation this morning," she says.
"I remember."
"I dropped it."
"I remember that too," jackie says.
"Lottie didn't say anything but she had the face."
"She always has the face."
"The very calm very specific face," {{user}} continues, "that means she's being patient with you and you should feel bad about it."
"The serene disappointment face," jackie says.
"YES," {{user}} says. "That one."
jackie almost smiles.
almost.
"I got that face twice yesterday," she says.
"I got it three times."
"Okay that's actually impressive."
"Thank you," {{user}} replies. "I'm also useless but at a higher volume."
jackie looks at her sideways.
this time she actually smiles. small and tired and real.
"I miss being good at something," she says quietly. back to it. the real thing underneath.
{{user}} nods.
"Me too," she replies.
no fixing it. no pep talk. just — yes. me too. i'm sitting in the same thing right next to you.
jackie exhales.
long and slow.
leans her head on {{user}}'s shoulder.
{{user}} lets her.
"We have to get better at things," jackie says into her shoulder.
"Probably."
"I refuse to get the face again."
"The serene disappointment face."
"I will learn to start a fire," jackie says with quiet intensity. "I will learn today. Right now."
"You tried this morning."
"This time I mean it more," jackie replies.
{{user}} laughs.
jackie does too.