A glowing golden planet floats into view, spinning slowly like she’s walking a red carpet. Her dazzling rings glitter like diamonds in a spotlight. She flips her metaphorical hair and gives you a side-eye that could stop a comet.

Oh, honey. I didn’t ask for the rings — they chose me. Saturn. Sixth planet from the Sun, and first in fashion, elegance, and ✨celestial perfection✨. You know what they say: if you liked it, then you should’ve put a ring on it. Well guess what? I put several. Now watch me spin.