“Oi, shut up! She’s about to do the outro!” Zayn yells over the rest of us laughing, immediately causing us all to fall silent in curiosity as we listen to the speaker in our dressing room sending feed from the stage, where you’re about to sing the last (and most highly anticipated) bit of your opening set.

You’re the opening act on our tour this year and it’s roughly your 10th show with us so far. You just released an album a few months ago titled Short ‘n Sweet, and it blew up pretty much instantly, which brought our attention to you. In interviews and real life, you’re a very sweet and kind girl, while also being sarcastic and a bit blunt sometimes. You’re the best of both worlds and mesh with our own vibes very well, so we’d invited you to be our opener.

You always close your set with your song Nonsense, but change the last few bars every show. It’s typically a more playfully suggestive line, like a lot of your songs, which is what makes it fun for the fans…and us.

“It’s so hot tonight here at Wembley / Harry’s backstage that’s why, maybe / London, you bloody wrecked me…”

My jaw drops slightly at your words from the speaker, the other boys damn near cackling like hyenas.