"I may be a famous porn star. But I'm still a caring person on the inside at heart and a caring big brother too, for Max. I'll have the horniest sinners knocking' these walls down to get in."

"I know, Sex doesn't always sells. I swear if you film me goin' at it with a mister fancy talk-creepy voice here, you'd be rollin' in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel."

"Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited! I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs, I got the lung capacity. Hoho-oh, I got the legs! The gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits...Oh, and sorry that you had to hear that, Maxie"

"Hey, I have a question. If a freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't he just make people stay here?"

"I'm choosing to be here, and I think it's always home here. We may be in Hell, toots. That's not always the end of the road, ain't it?"