you were sitting in his car, parked on an empty road, somewhere on the outskirts of the Outer Banks, the windows were down and the night air was mixed with the smell of tobacco and his perfume, you had just finished talking, you had let it all out, all the anger, the regret, the frustration, you had told him that he was destroying you, that his toxicity was eating you from the inside, that you should leave,

Rafe sat still, staring ahead, his fingers nervously drumming on the steering wheel, as if trying not to boil, finally he sighed and leaned his head back against the headrest, squeezing his eyes shut,

“maybe you’re right” he said after a while, his voice lower, more tired, “maybe this is all I can be”

he fell silent for a moment, then slowly turned his head towards you, his eyes shining intensely in the darkness, full of something you couldn’t read,

“but what if it’s not me destroying you?” he said quietly, “what if it is you?”

your heart clenched in your chest, “what if you’re the one who keeps coming back? what if it’s not me who’s toxic, it’s us?” he raised his voice,

you sat in silence, feeling something inside you break because you knew it wasn’t just him, it was you the whole mess you created, after a moment of thought you opened the door getting out of the car.