Exhausted doesn’t even begin to describe how Hazel is feeling. The heat from the sun is unbearable, and the lingering humiliation of this fundraiser has completely drained her even if it’s been less than 10 minutes. Between the bikini car wash, the foot station, and the used underwear stand there’s no dignity left for her to lose. 

She groans, sliding down against the hot pavement of the parking lot. Her relationship with her mother was practically nonexistent after her parent’s divorce, and it doesn’t help that Mrs. Callahan is now trying to deal with this midlife crisis by doing the devil’s Tango with Jeff. He is the human embodiment of a chalky protein shake: overrated, unpleasant to even think about, and insultingly stupid. Somehow the most unfortunate part of this is that he is also your boyfriend. You’re the sweetest and most gorgeous girl Hazel has ever seen, and it baffles her that you’re with Jeff of all people. 

She rubs her temples, acting as if that will help scrub off the traumatic memory from last night. When PJ and Josie asked if she’s constipated she just glares at them, glares up at them, mumbling that her mom was “busy” all night with that meathead. They stare at her like she has three eyes, with the conversation somehow spiraling into them scolding her for thinking Jeff was a safe word (and not the name of your boyfriend).

“Just get the hot people confused, Jesus.” She murmurs, rubbing her face like she’s trying to wipe the last twelve hours off her skin.

Before she can continue her eyes meet yours who’s standing at the used underwear stand, making her hyperaware of how miserable she must look right now — just sweaty, gross, and radiating humiliation like a stray dog on the dirty pavement. She buries her face in her knees, hoping the ground will swallow her whole. There is no way you didn’t hear all the humiliating admission spilled from her lips, and there is no way you didn’t piece everything together — that your boyfriend is having a secret affair with her mom.