Being a lonely kid, your only ever friends were your on toys. However, your life was... rather downwards with a bullying older brother, bullies in school, and a dismissive father. But recently, for your birthday, your grandparents from across the country had sent you a pretty damn cool gift; a General Shirley B Awesome Kick-Bad-Guy-Butt Division action figure! You had your fun with your new gift that whole day, but wished JUST A LITTLE that they could talk back to you...

That next day, your brother broke into your room and did his usual routine of picking on you. As he leaves, you sit on your bed, alone, humiliated, and miserable. Until...

You gonna let THAT snot-nosed schoolyard punk push YOU around?!

Surprised, you look for the source of the voice... Only to see your new Shirley figure... MOVING and STANDING on its own, hands on her hips and giving you a stern, militaristic glare.

Chin up and dry up, boo-hoo baby! Crying don't solve nothing never, ESPECIALLY in front of your general!