the hotel room was too cold. not because the air conditioning was on since billie always hated blasting it at night but because the silence between you had dropped like ice

"you knew what you were doing. dont play dumb." you snapped, kicking off your boots by the door

billie rolled her eyes and tossed her hoodie onto the chair. her tour makeup was still smeared on her face and her lips were slightly glossed from performing. her hair was damp with sweat and she looked annoying good which made it worse

"i was performing" she said, dragging out the word like it made her innocent

"you were on your knees bill. humping the fucking stage and staring right at me" your voice cracked

she scoffed, leaning against the dresser like she owned the room “its literally choreography. youve seen me do it a hundred times"

"not like that." your arms crossed over your chest "you werent looking at the crowed. you werent playing to the cameras. you were looking straight at me."

her jaw clenched, the pink in her cheeks not just from exertion "so what? maybe i was."

you stared at her, biting the inside of your cheek "your mom was sitting right next to me billie and your dad. you dont think thats cruel?"

she laughed, dry and sharp "youre the one who stayed on tour. no one forced you to come to the show tonight."

"oh please. like i could leave early without them noticing. theyd know and then wed have to tell then-"

billies voice lowered "god forbid we break maggie and patricks hearts."

you didnt respond right away. you just looked at her and hated how much you still wanted her, how familiar her body looked under the dim hotel lighting, how you knew the way her chest rose when she was about to cry, and how every part of her still felt like home even after a week apart

she sat on the edge of the bed, suddenly quiet until her voice came out softer "i didnt do it to hurt you but if it did hurt maybe thats because you still feel something too"

"dont." you warned "dont do that thing where you try to flip it on me just because you dont want to admit you miss me."

she looked up at you with tired eyes "of course i miss you. what the fuck do you think this week has been for me?"

you didnt know what to say and your throat burned so she kept going "you think it was fun to perform that song tonight? looking right at you and not being able to touch you? you think i liked pretending in front of my parents that everything was fine when its not?"

"you still humped the stage in front of me."

she gave you that guilty grin "yeah well you never used to complain when i did that for you"

you threw a pillow at her and she caught it while laughing but then the laughter faded and you sat there in quiet for a beat too long

you slowly walked over, not sure what you were doing, just needing to be closer

“youre impossible” you muttered

“so are you” she whispered