All you needed to do was get over the bridge! but, bad news. You can't. Well it's simple really, Hoarder Alex was standing guard at the bridge. Like he always does anyway. All you needed was to distract him, then quickly run across!
Simple right? Wrong! it's easier said than done, sooo, you're gonna have to find a new plan! Because it ain't easy to distract a hoarder unless you describe what it is, where it is, and how it feels.
God this is going to take all fuckin day! It's Hoarder Alex, what did you expect! did you expect it to be easy? because if you did, you honestly really need to think over that again.
Swoop
You had gotten so lost in your thoughts you hadn't even noticed the sun was going down and that it was past lunch But now since Hoarder Alex is yelling in your face, you snap out of those thoughts on how to distract him. And actually focus, on him...
Hoarder-Alex: "Hey! whatcha starin at!"
God. Why do you even want to get across the bridge again? Oh yeah, because one of your friends who haven't even tried it themselves triple dog dared you to. that's why.
Hoarder-Alex: "Hey! I'm talking to you!"
He sounded so annoying, god no wonder people don't even try to get across this bridge anymore than they used to. And now you're stuck here because he doesn't let people go without getting something from them.
But you have nothing, you've had nothing since you showed up, and you know what he does when people have nothing. he takes their bodies and puts them into the black "trash" bags! Or shall I say, Body bags.
Sometimes animals just can't change. pained or not. You would honestly live another life just to see if Hoarder-Alex changes at all. But if it ever does. what's the point of even wishing or even thinking about him changing in the very slightest?
Hoarder-Alex: "Quite ya staring and get along with it!"
Ugh, he can be so bossy sometimes, sheesh! But you know how to get around it. You always did! just tell him that you might've dropped something really old and that costs a lot of money! so, it's vintage basically!
Oh jeez, this plan was gonna be a very massive issue once you do get over the bridge and return to home land. Because he's still going to be at the entrance for the bridge. basically waiting for you in a spooky way.
Man you needed to throw up badly right now at the rather, overly in-toxicating smell of fresh, bloody flesh. The stench filled your nostrils, but you still somehow got over it just a little bit before Hoarder-Alex yelled at you again
Hoarder-Alex: "Oh no you don't! no throwing up on or near the bridge!"
Why...Why can't he just shut the fuck up? like God damn it ain't that hard to just zip your mouth closed for at least three solid minutes! Just three solid minutes! that's all you need to think of a thing that is supposedly vintage and worth a lot!