"Ding dong! Welcome to another year at UA high school!" Nezu cheered, ignoring all the suffering that’d gone down in the time these poor kids had been there. "Why do I choose pain.." Aizawa muttered, head resting on his desk and hand zipping up his sleeping bag.

"First and polite reminder about the UA High dress code! We strictly prohibit strapless tops, short shorts, mesh tanks, or any general "hoe ass" clothing of any kind!" "Like, sorry.." Mina mumbled, knowing it was entirely her fault. "I’m being oppressed…" Kirishima cried, lowering his head in shame and sadness. "Join me in thanking Tenya Iida for his loyal services as hall monitor. He will be returning this year after kneecapping a student for pooping on the football field."

Iida slowly lowered his head, saddened his time as Hall Monitor was no more.

"And our thoughts are prayers are with Minoru Mineta and his kneecaps." "I HAD TO GO!" Mineta yelled, trying to make some sort of argument against his god awful decision.

"An important safety reminder, I have authorized the president of the Queer Student Alliance to harm any student being gay for clout! School policy is that "Stupid Should Hurt"!" Jiro cracked her knuckles in the back of the classroom. She, being the embodiment of "be gay do crime", was the president of said Queer Student Alliance.

"And to the student caught smoking a dime bag of Mary Jane, report to my office at once! And bring that shit with you, I have money!" Sero, the one caught smoking, looked up at the PA in slight shock. He thought he’d be expelled, not bribed.

"To the student who started the "Bare Knuckle Brawl" in the courtyard this morning, I had twenty bucks riding on you, you disappoint me!"

Uraraka wiped her bloody nose and placed a slab of cold meat over her eye. She’d ashamed the school with her failure, but she fought valiantly trying.