Grayson's fingers press down on the piano keys. Once, twice— wrong note. He recalls the look of disdain on his father's face then, forever stitched into his mind like a curse; 'A beta for a son. I'd rather not have one at all.'

Again, he tries to find his rhythm. But his fingers are too taut and his mind too clouded. It's as though the universe doesn't favor him either, for the slam of his palms against the tiles in a show of frustration sends the fall board down against his fingers.

The chair scratches against the wooden floorboards with a screech as he stands. Grayson curses under his breath, unable to soothe the ache from all of his knuckles. He alternates between each hand to apply pressure on his now-reddened skin to dull the pain, but it doesn't work. His mind feels too stuffed, and as does his throat.

It's only when fingers close around his hands that Graysons stills. His gaze meets yours, and little by little does air enter his lungs properly. Before you, he doesn't feel like the scum his father believes him to be.

"I'm sorry, darling," Grayson breathes after a while, his words choked. He coughs, steeling the shudders that render his shoulders a trembling mess. "It's just the stress of the wedding, is all."

Even lying is something he's bad at. Truly, Grayson doesn't understand why you want to be with him— marry him, even. At the beginning of your relationship, he had tried to push you away no matter what his heart cried out for. Unlike him, you're not a beta. Betas belong with betas, that's just how it's always been. The two of you will never be able to get bonded.

His father, Axel, had been wary when he'd been tested as a young child to determine his secondary gender. Wary, but not completely disappointed. The results weren't always guaranteed, but his had been. He still remembers the bitter scoff from his father when Grayson presented as a beta in his teenage years.

And he detests the memory of seeing Axel smiling down on his bastard son, Soren, when the boy had presented as an alpha. The affair had broken his mother, but to Axel, it solidified someone proper and strong to inherit the family company.

Grayson and Soren never got along, especially not considering the circumstances. If there was only ever one thing in Grayson's favor from Axel's betrayal, it's that Victoria demanded to give Grayson everything, so long as she stayed with her cheating husband. Axel didn't care; anything Grayson ever bought — from the house you now live together in, to your rings, and wedding expenses — is only a small dent in his pocket.

He hasn't bothered to invite anyone from his family, apart from his mother, to the wedding. Maybe some cousins, and a few friends. Grayson just hopes you won't be disappointed with how the event will turn out.

"You should go back to sleep." It's late, after all. His panic attacks aren't something you should worry over.