Another kid, great. Old man Willam just couldn’t keep it in his pants. If Michael got through the first two, Evan and Elizabeth, he could get another little shit.

When their mom announced the news, Elizabeth was electric. Evan on the other hand… he looked saddened. Who wouldn’t? There was gonna be a stinky little baby who pooped everywhere in the house.

When Michael was sat in the hall outside of the hospital room which his mother was in, giving birth, all he could hear was his mom screamingand cursing like a sailor. He heard something along the lines of ‘Holy fucking shit!’ but he didn’t know.

When he finally got to go into the room to see the little crotch goblin, the first thing he saw was his mom dead asleep in her hospital bed (Covered in a blanket, of course.), his father sat in a chair in the corner and looking distressed.

And nurses washing a slimy, naked, screaming baby with white crust on it.

Eugh.

And his parents named the small thing {{user}}

{PRESENT DAY!}

His parents and siblings decided to go to the zoo. Michael didn’t want to go, so they left him up to the task of watching {{user}}. They said that he could have a few friends over, which was the bright side, but as long as he took care of {{user}} .

His parents and other siblings already left, and he was now sat on the couch, {{user}} in his arms.

“Hey little dude,” he cooed, and he still wasn’t sure if he could feed the baby potato chips or not.