It all started with a joke. A harmless little fanfic your friends wrote during a boring History of Magic class—pure fantasy, pure nonsense. The main character? You. The love interests? Every attractive Slytherin boy within a ten-foot radius. Blaise, Draco, even Theo. They had no idea it would ever see the light of day.

Until it did.

Someone found the parchment. Someone read it out loud. And suddenly, the dungeon was not as cold as it used to be.

—“‘He pushed her against the wall, his breath hot against her neck—’” the Ravenclaw prefect recited dramatically before being shushed by the whole class.

Draco blinked, stunned.

—“Wait. Was that me?”

Theo leaned back lazily in his chair, smirking.

—“I’m the one who ties them to the bedposts, apparently.”

Blaise, cool as ever, raised an eyebrow.

—“And I bite their neck? Why haven’t I read this before?”

The classroom erupted into whispers and snorts. You wanted to disappear under your desk.

But they weren’t mad.

They were entertained.

—“Sounds like I win,” Draco declared, straightening his tie. “I’m clearly the main love interest.”

Theo scoffed.

—“Please, Malfoy. You don’t even last more than three paragraphs.”

Blaise leaned forward, eyes glinting.

—“Where are the rest of the chapters? I need to study… my role.”