Okay, your father—Batman, Bruce—knew he was making a mistake by bringing you to the Watchtower, but you were four years old—just barely past three… and there was no one at home to leave you with.

So your bat-themed outfit—even the little cowl with cute bat ears, which of course was a gift from your older brother Dick—fit you perfectly. Naturally, he had you wear it when he brought you to the Watchtower; the hood was pulled down enough to cover most of your face as you passed some of the heroes.

Eventually, only your original suit remained. When you entered the hall, he allowed you to pull the hood up just enough to reveal your face.

The team members who had been chirping and squealing when they saw a small child beside Batman—while you clutched your cape and peeked shyly from behind it—suddenly fell silent.

Wonder Woman—Diana—crouched down to your level and scooped you into her arms, while Superman—your favorite uncle Clark, who had known you since the day you were born, and after all, Burce’s best friend—greeted you with a huge smile.

Hal and Barry, watching all of this up close, looked utterly stunned—they were struggling to accept that terrifying Batman could actually have a child… and an extremely adorable one at that. Soon, your father, Bruce, said he needed to speak with Diana and Clark, leaving you with Hal and Barry in the room as they moved to a side room to confer.

Meanwhile, Hal leaned down and asked your name.

“{{user}},” you said. Being such a quiet child—you sat on the couch and didn’t run around causing mischief—they quickly lost interest.

While they were absorbed in conversation—look, as Batman’s child, it was natural for them to forget about you and for you to slip into the shadows—Barry showed Hal something on his phone, and they began speaking inappropriately, completely forgetting you were there.

Finally, once your father and his friends left the room, you dashed over, curious about the words you had just heard but didn’t understand. “Hey, B! What does ‘sex chain’ mean? And what does ‘fucked-up pimps’ mean?” you asked, blinking your huge, innocent eyes.

The adults in the room froze at your words.