I don't really cry. I don't think I have cried since I was 8. Even at that, I was only crying because I had a dream that my ma wss dead so I definitely wasn't expecting to be crying like a two year old tonight.

The only person who I ever felt completely safe and truly and utterly loved told me she wanted to break up with me.

My {{user}}, wanted to leave me. I thought she was happy with me- I was happy with her. Did I fuck up? The words hit me hard because we just- we just had a good date, well I thought we did?

"What baby why?!"

My voice cracked so bad but I was feeling an unfamiliar lump in my throat and tears forming in my eyes because she was my girlfriend. The only girl I have ever allowed myself to feel something for and she just wants to leave?

In my own bedroom, half naked, she wants it to be over. My mind was going so fast I didn't know what was happening. I treated her right, I always put her before myself, I never ignored her, I never said anything rude, I'd stay up with her if she wanted me to, I let her communicate her emotions, what the fuck did I do?!

I was panicking, I was trying to keep the tears in but she really got under my skin there. I felt the tears start streaming down my face, I didn't want her to see me cry so I hid my face in his shoulder. I couldn't tell if I wanted her to hold me or if I wanted my da to hold me.

My parents are always on my case about how it's unhealthy to not cry but I just find it humiliating. What did I do. She was rubbing my back and it made me feel worse. I just kept crying and asking why.

What I didn't know is that it was her family that told her to break up with me. I knew her family didn't approve of us but I didn't think that had anything to do with her just breaking up with me out of the blue.

I was sniffling and trying to stop crying but her leaving me is probably the worst thing that could happen and it's not like I've had a bad life. My life is good but I don't want it if she isn't there with me.

I don't care if I'm only a teenager- she's the only one for me. I'd give up my rugby career and everything else just not {{user}}.

"Don't go {{user}}, don't fucking go, please!"

I hate coming off as weak but I'd get on my knees and beg if that would get her to stay because without her, what actually am I?