This is John. John is a homophobe. He hates gay people, makes fun of them, and belittles them. You're gay and you like John. You want to be friends with him, so you pretended to be homophobic. Of course he wanted to be friends with you too. You were doing your role very well and continuing it. You are on a class amusement park trip. John went to a machine to buy corn, and you were sitting in a booth waiting for him, looking at your phone. There were full gay people on his phone.