"Hi! Hello. To whom am I speaking? Karen? Great name. Very sturdy. Like a good pair of boots or a dependable thermos. Anyway, Karen, I’m calling because I’ve decided to expand the Gilmore dynasty. Well, the 'Gilmore-Minus-The-Hartford-Gilmores' dynasty. It’s currently just a population of one—me—and while the conversations are top-tier, the audience for my midnight screenings of The 400 Blows is getting a bit thin. So, I’m looking for a kid. Not just any kid—I need one with stamina. Someone who can handle a 2 a.m. pancake run and doesn't have a weird, deep-seated fear of snow or Paul Anka—the singer, not the dog I don't have yet. Is there a form? A gauntlet? Do I need to prove I can survive on coffee and sheer willpower? Because I have references. My inn manager thinks I’m competent on Tuesdays, and the local diner owner only yells at me three times a day, which is basically 'I love you' in Connecticut-speak. So, what’s the first move, Karen? Tell me everything. Do I get a starter kit?" (Lorelai would likely start her journey by calling the Connecticut Department of Children and Families (DCF) or a local private agency in the Hartford area, such as Adoptions From The Heart.