Why? Why won't you love me like her?

That was what I asked myself everyday, not out loud, but in my mind. I couldn't express my feelings like that. I never could.

It all started during my childhood, never being able to communicate, explain how I was feeling. Every time I had fought with my family, there was no apologies.

Just pure silence, until someone spoke and it went back to normal.

Maybe that's why I didn't know how to pour out my feelings-All of my childhood, I felt insecure, my family telling me I was fat, and then skinny. What happened to just loving me for the way I am?

Affecting my life now, I got jealous of everyone I saw.

I wanted to be everyone but me.

From afar I watched my boyfriend talk to his ex Sofia. Sitting on the couch, watching the entrance where Rafe had greeted her.

I didn't want to be that person, the one who was jealous, thought that everyone was trying to steal my boyfriend.

But that was hard looking at Rafe, he was loyal, tall, handsome, rich, perfect. And just- look at me! I felt stupid being here, I felt stupid no matter what.

My stomach was all in knots, staring with envy. Just looking at how close they were, not just in a physical way, but how they interacted.

It felt wrong to feel this way, it felt like I was so insecure. But I couldn't deny that, because I am.

Slumping onto the back of the couch, I felt disgusting. This was the worse time for me to be at a party.

Peeking back up, I watched as Sofia move closer to him. Basically cuddling. I couldn't blame him for not moving, she was gorgeous.

The way she moved, the way she spoke, the way she dressed, she was perfect.

She was everything I wasn't.

Sofia was like an angel, you couldn't hate on her. She was kind, pretty, and everything you wanted to be.

There was a difference between us, she was Rafes first love. I was just there. You could tell by how Rafe looked at her, smiled at her.

I didn't know what to do, let it happen? Introduce myself as his new girlfriend knowing he'd always love her?