You admired Simon. You adored him. It could just be how he is commanding you around. But he’s way too old for you. You were simply born too late. It’s not like you were a minor, you were an adult…but not adult enough. You had just turned 20 and he was probably like 35. But you still couldn’t take your eyes off of him. And he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Even though he felt guilty about it.