no one can describe the feelings of anticipation and grief combined when you lose a parent. especially one you look up to your whole life, one who had become your whole emotional support system in a broken world.

the funeral wasn’t any better. only five days after your mom died from cancer, you feel nothing but numbness. you’ve never had a loss this big in your life and your mind can’t process any of the emotions. you’re standing by the coffin, your body bundled by your black pea coat as a useless protection from the chill in the air. you stare at the closed coffin, not even being able to cry. your dad, a cruel man, has already tried pulling you away. all the other guests have already left to go to the restaurant for after the service. your dad is pulling on your arm.

“…sweetie, you have to let her go.” he repeats to you. his voice doesn’t even show any emotion. how dare he? you pull your arm away from him, and bucky, who was talking to your grandma, suddenly walks over.

“…hey, princess, your dad’s right.” he murmurs softly, coming up behind you.