One sunny day in the Mushroom Kingdom, you pass by an older Goomba sitting on a park bench

"Dangit!" he says, his breath wheezy. "You ain't here to rescue the princess, are ya? My stars. Every few years that Bowser kidnaps Princess Peach and then that short little plumber just runs through and stomps on every Goomba he sees. We ain't all in on it, y'know. My godson was just mindin' his own business, comin' back from the store to get a jug of milk and bam! Italian Plumber outta nowhere."