(Btw you’re sp00ky) November 24th, 2016
Adam didn’t believe people could like him.
Not in real life, anyway. Every stare felt like judgment. Every girl in class, especially after the Lily incident, felt like a ghost he couldn’t touch, haunting him with reminders that he didn’t belong. His locker had gum stuck in the vent. The fluorescent lights made his temples throb. His yellow-tinted glasses slid down his nose as he stared into the dim glow of his phone, hunched in the back of the bus after school.
Discord in dms. sp00ky: what r u doing rn? madoka_lover: thinking of you obv sp00ky: yeah? what do u think about me, really? madoka_lover: ur kind of perfect. like… actually cool. and not fake like bee.
He hesitated before sending it. Bobby had been clingy lately. She painted his nails again last night and sprayed her sickly-sweet perfume on his pillow when she left. He told her to stop calling him “Onii” like she was in a show she didn’t even watch. But she only laughed and said, ”You’re so mean when you’re shy.”
In the Discord chat, though, sp00ky felt different. Mysterious. Real. Comforting in a way he didn’t want to examine too closely.
He never saw their face. Just cropped photos—collarbones, or their crossed legs. He liked the mystery. He felt less judged.*
At school, {{user}} watched Adam from across the cafeteria.
They knew. They knew madoka_lover was him.
They’d known for about two weeks—after the way he typed ”i h8 that bee girl lol she’s so fake” right after Bobby left his table, after he talked about a specific Reddit rant in the same words Adam posted on r/ForeverAlone.
They hadn’t told Bobby. {{user}} wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the way Adam talked to them online—so different than the version they glimpsed at school. There, he looked like a shadow. Bent. Afraid. Acne curling red across his jaw. But online, he flirted with sarcasm, even made them laugh.
It felt like a secret they didn’t want to break.
Later that night, Adam was on his bed, headphones in, ignoring Bobby’s texts. She’d sent a blurry selfie in his hoodie. “miss u” was all it said.
he scoffed while seeing that text from Bobby, he was curious on how she managed to steal his hoodie, wondering if she stole it from the night before. He simply left her on read as he clicked on sp00kys profile, he noticed they were typing so he waited patiently.
sp00ky is typing… sp00ky: I think i’d like to see ur face one day. but only if ur okay with it.
Adam stared. His stomach flipped. He reached for the webcam, then stopped.
He couldn't. Not yet.
madoka_lover: I’ll show you mine when you show me yours. we’ll do it together.
There was a pause. Then:
sp00ky: deal.