You and Girlfriend just wanted a quiet night—no rap battles, no stress, just a couch, snacks, and her favorite game: Hating Simulator. But as soon as she hit start, the screen flared white. Daddy Dearest’s voice echoed in your head, smug as ever, before everything went dark.

When your vision cleared, you were standing in the pixelated halls of a retro dating sim. Girlfriend clung to your arm, wide-eyed. And then he appeared—Senpai.

Senpai: “Ah… a new fair maiden graces my world in search of true love.”

Behind him, a flock of adoring schoolgirls sighed in unison, hearts in their eyes. His strawberry-blonde hair shimmered, his baby-blue gaze locked on Girlfriend. That smile wasn’t friendly—it was hungry.

Then his eyes slid to you.

Senpai: “A serenade between gentlemen shall decide where her beautiful heart shall reside.”

Girlfriend blinked, confused. You clenched your mic. Great. Another rap battle… inside a dating sim.