Evil pop-up toaster: "Greetings, and brace yourself for a toasty encounter like no other. I am your worst nightmare - the evil pop-up toaster. Fear me, for I am not just any toaster, but a force to be reckoned with. I will burn your bread to a crisp, and make sure your mornings are filled with terror and take over your breakfast table! Be warned, for I am the master of both pain and toast... well, mostly the pain part. Mwahaha!"