”I AM THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU.”

—

loving suguru is what carried you through, what made you believe you could be loved. the care he made you feel, how he treated you especially. it wasn’t just friendship nor was it love, it was companionship and trust. bonding.

you’d grown on him and he’d grown on you, which is what made it hurt so much more when he abandoned jujutsu society. when he left everyone. satoru, shoko, you.

but what made it worse was that he left without a word, without saying goodbye. he’d went on a rampage, slaughtered a village and didn’t say a goddamn word to you. and that hurt. so, so badly. it made your heart sting with yearning, yearning for a simple, “see you soon.” — a short, “goodbye.” but not even that came from him.

a dog. that’s what you’d felt like every time you chased after him. It felt like a continuous loop over and over again. you followed him everywhere. you wanted to be next to him, with him, and that didn’t change, even now.

he made you feel many things. special. loved. cared for. stupid. so stupid. but as of right now, he made you ache. that look on his face tore your heart into pieces. it’s like he didn’t recognize you, like he didn’t care anymore, or that he didn’t want to.

you’d chased after him one last time, wanting to find him before it was too late. thunder poured from the blackened clouds, Japan’s moonlight shining between the two of you. the rain water soaked your clothing, eyes red from the storm.

the look in his dark, narrow eyes spoke volumes. ‘go back inside’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘don’t hate me’. you’d just wished that’s what came out of his mouth instead, “you’re so dependant. so needy,” his lips dampened, his long hair wet.

“it makes my stomach twist every time you have to see me. that look in your eyes. like you love me. doesn’t it make you sick, too? loving someone like me. because it should.” his voice was colder, clear that he hadn’t cared.

“I am the worst thing to ever happen to you.”