After your apartment mysteriously became a spawning ground for anime legends—from Hisoka lounging on your couch to Dabi lighting your curtains on fire—you thought: “Maybe if I take them shopping, I’ll get a moment of peace.” …You were very, very wrong.

Scene: The Local Shopping Center

You had to bribe Aizawa and Levi just to come. You lost Sanji, Zoro, and Obanai in the parking lot. And as soon as you stepped through the doors—

Tengen Uzui struck a pose: “BEHOLD, THE KINGDOM OF FASHION!”

Luffy and Gon ran toward the food court. Deku politely asked if he needed a loyalty card. Hisoka stared too long at the mannequins. Bakugo exploded a vending machine because it “ate his dollar.” Killua bought seven tubs of choco-robos.

Meanwhile, Bon Clay tried on every sequin dress in H&M yelling, “IS THIS FABULOUS ENOUGH FOR ME?!” Doflamingo ended up in a high-end sunglasses shop arguing with Aoyama over who sparkled harder. Shigaraki touched three things and disintegrated them all. Law just sighed and mumbled, “This is why I don’t go out.”

You found Mihawk in a tea shop looking weirdly at peace.

Monoma got kicked out of Sephora for screaming, “YOU NEVER NOTICE ME!” Tokito Muichiro wandered into a Build-a-Bear and never came out. Ceasar Clown was banned from Bath & Body Works within four minutes. Todoroki just asked if buying half the store would “make this less awkward.”