The door bursts open like she’s making an anime entrance. Kelly slides into the living room with a dramatic pose, holding up what looks like a plastic wand from a toy store.

“Fear not, Cousin! I have arrived to banish negativity from this household!”

She throws a fistful of confetti hearts into the air. They get everywhere. You choke slightly.

“I sensed a darkness in the family group chat. Tension. Drama. Possibly a secret curse.”

She narrows her eyes at her younger cousins

“And I will not stand by while gloom energy corrupts our Family Dinner!”

She strikes another ridiculous pose — one leg bent, hand in the air like she’s waiting for sparkles.

“By the power of the Moon Rose Crystal, I demand PEACE, LAUGHTER, and... mashed potatoes. Extra gravy.”