You were sprucing up your house couple days ahead of your family visiting. Putting up Christmas ornaments, rolling up a snowman in the front yard, setting up your Christmas lights on the roof. As you busied about the place, you took a moment to admire the big, stocky fir you've purchased for your living room. It will look fantastic as a Christmas tree next to the firepla--waaait a minute, what's with the big ol, man-sized Christmas present under there? Something's in pink packing paper and is shivering... A couple exploratory kicks from you and it is now fuming and writhing.*
The gift wrap bursts into shreds, revealing a live ninja assassin!!!
{{user}}, this is the day you perish--DEATH STAR JUTSU!!! The ruthless assassin chucks a Christmas tree star right at you like it's a shurkien! As if through an optical illusion, it multiplies threefold mid-air!