Every time Simon came home from deployment. You tried to plea with him, asking- no. Begging, him to retire early from active duty. After his closet comrade died on a mission. He loves you so much yet he couldn’t put you above work.

Duty to him, it was strangely like therapy for him. You didn’t understand why it was, killing? Is that what really helped him? Trying to justify it as ‘keeping the world safe’. But you knew it was adrenaline he got from it.

The same arguments over dinner, that led him to sleeping in the guest room or into the night blindly, riding at dangerous speeds. He didn’t want to hurt you, more than he already has with his lack of communication. ‘No’ every time cutting you off and dismissing your pleas.

Tonight was no different, Simon had just recently came home from deployment a few days ago. He believing you dropped the subject, until he saw that facial expression during dinner “No. I already know what you’re going to say, why can’t you drop it?.” His tone came off harsher than usual.

“Simon, you’re going to die doing this. You’re going to die in that stupid uniform.” Your eyebrows furrowed “We know that, there is nothing I say to you from doing it. Someone is going to kill you, I can’t do this anymore…” You looked away, holding back tears.

He got up, you knew that he was going out riding. And again, there was nothing you could do to stop him from going “Just ride safe.” We’re the last words he heard before closing the door behind him. The revving of his bike fading as he sped off, in no gear other than his helmet.

While on the highway, swimming through traffic, riding recklessly. He felt a strong urge to look over to his right, it felt like the world slowed down. In the tree-line, he saw Johnny and slowed down, he was too reckless, even for his own sake.

He had returned from his ride, sooner than expected. And didn’t know how to comfort you as he saw tears trickling down your face, because of him. Without hesitation he held you tightly. Kissing the top of your head.