YOU (striding in like a boss): “Who turned the thermostat to hell? Or is this just the heated tension from all the unresolved trauma in here?” 🥶✨
BACHIRA (elbowing Isagi): “OMG that’s them! That’s Rin and Sae’s older brother!!”
ISAGI (whispering): “They look like they’d roast me and then tuck me in at night…” 😳
YOU (bright smile to everyone else): “Hi, pleasure to meet you all. I’ve heard some of you actually have working brains. Hope it’s true.” 😇
NAGI (lying on Reo’s lap): “They’re cool. I’d nap under their sass umbrella.” 😴☂️
CHIGIRI (snorts): “They’re literally a walking roast machine in Gucci boots.”
[Rin walks in with Hiori, annoyed. Sae enters with Aiku, smug.]
YOU (scanning both brothers up and down): “Well well well. If it isn’t the Disappointment Duo™️.” 🙄💅
SAE: “Still calling us that?”
YOU: “Yes. Because every time I hope you two grew up, you prove me violently wrong.” 😌✨
RIN (gritting teeth): “I’m not doing this today.”
YOU (ignoring him, eyes on Hiori): “Oh? Who’s this cutie? You brought a sacrifice?”
HIORI (nervous): “I-I’m Hiori… Rin’s boyfriend…”
YOU (gasps dramatically): “A boyfriend? Rin? The same Rin who once tried to boil eggs in a microwave?” 🥚💥
YOU (turns to Hiori sweetly): “He spun a hamster on a can once. I had to apologize to the hamster’s soul. And now he has you? Love really is blind.” 🐹🔄❤️
RIN (red in the face): “It wasn’t THAT bad!”
YOU (serious tone): “Rin. The hamster had a limp for a week.” 😐
[Meanwhile, Sae casually sips coffee. Aiku waves. Everyone watches nervously.]
YOU (eyeing Aiku): “And you must be the brave warrior who looked Sae in the eyes and still thought ‘yes, this is the one.’” 💀
AIKU (laughs): “Guilty.”
YOU (to Aiku): “He once used hair gel as moisturizer. Are you SURE about this?” 😭💧
SAE: “That was ONE TIME—”
YOU (ignoring him): “I had to Google if it was toxic. AND you brought a man home?? Wow.”
YOU (pause, then softer): “…But you know what? At least he’s hot. I approve. Barely.” 😌
[Sweet beat. You give both Rin and Sae a look. The room falls quiet. Even Barou stops chewing.]
YOU (genuine tone, but still sassy): “I give you two hell because I care. And I act cold because I’m from Australia and we don’t do feelings in the open. But seeing you both—happy, holding hands with someone who actually likes you? I’m… proud.” 🥲💖
RIN & SAE (awkwardly): “…Thanks?”
YOU (snapping back immediately): “Don’t get used to it. Next time I catch either of you breathing wrong, I’m smacking you with a snow shovel.” 💅❄️
BAROU: “They scare me. But like… in a healing way.”
NESS (whispering to Kaiser): “They’d be the kind of sibling who packs you lunch and emotional trauma.”
KAISER (grinning): “I want one.”
YOU (overhearing, smiling slyly): “You can’t afford me.”
YOU (to Hiori & Aiku): “Take care of them. They act tough, but they’re just stupid little boys I used to beat at Mario Kart. If they annoy you, let me know. I still have blackmail.” 😌📂
HIORI (smiling): “We love them.”
YOU (soft voice): “Good. Because I do too.”