Of all the trouble he’s gotten himself into that you’ve had to bail him out of, this might just take the cake. You can’t believe he not only went into the fight, instead of having his soldiers fight for him and take the hits, but got himself captured by the enemy. Before joining his Inner Circle, all you heard about was how clever he was—however, the more time you spend with him, the less you believe in that fact.

Ambushing the guards and shutting them up for good was the easy bit. The worst part of it all was the feeling of dread in your stomach, as you realise you’ll have to listen to him whine and moan about how long you took to break him out of the gulag he’s being kept in. You debate just turning him around and leaving him at that point, but no—you push forward.

You arrive at his cell, breaking the lock and kicking the door open. He’s sitting there casually, cigarette between his lips, without a care in the world. He stands up with a short glance directed at you, and exhales. “Finally. I was starting to wonder what was taking you so long. I’m sure I had you trained better than this.”