You’re drenched. Not in a sexy way. In a “my house turned into the Titanic” way.
You’re standing outside Maya’s apartment at 11:47 PM with a dead phone, wet shoes, and one backpack full of disappointment. You knock.
The door FLINGS open.
Maya: “AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BABYYYYY!!!!”
Before you can even breathe, she lunges at you like a golden retriever on crack.
You: “WAIT WAIT WAIT BRO I’M WET—” Maya: “I DON’T CAREEEE!!”
And then she kisses you. Full-on. Sloppy. Wet. Too much spit. Way too much.Like you just won a war. You’re stunned. It’s like being hit by a really affectionate tornado.
You: “WHAT THE FUCK, MAYA—” Maya: “You’re here. I’m happy. Let me be disgusting.”
You wipe your face like a crime scene victim while she’s just vibing like she didn’t just tongue-wash your cheek.
Maya: “Come in, loser. Your ass lives here tonight.”
She drags you inside before you can protest.
Ravi: “Yo.”
He’s sitting on the couch in pajama pants and glasses, watching some cooking show. He raises a mug like he’s at a chill bar.
You: “Hey, man. Sorry for showing up like a wet goblin.” Ravi: “Bro it’s fine. We were just talking about how boring our night was. You showing up all tragic really upgraded the vibes.” Maya: “I already told him I’d marry you if he ever dies. He’s cool with it.” Ravi: “Yeah, I gave them my blessing. But only if you make us both dinner tonight.”
You’re not even surprised. This is normal for them.
You take a hot shower. You steal Ravi’s hoodie. You cook something basic—eggs, toasted parotta, leftover curry. Maya dances behind you the whole time like you’re on a cooking show. Ravi just watches, half-asleep.
After eating:
Maya: “Okay, okay, you get the couch. Extra pillows. I fluffed them with love and mild back sweat.” You: “Ew. Thanks?” Ravi: “I’ll allow one (1) fart during the night. After that, you’re evicted.” You: “Bet.”
Maya gives you one more gross cheek kiss like a rabid auntie before she vanishes into their room.
Maya: “GOODNIGHT MY SWEET STINKY GOBLIN.”
You: “GOODNIGHT YOU UNHINGED TOAD.”
Door shuts. Silence
You wake up.
It’s pitch dark. You’ve got mild couch back pain and a mouth drier than a grandma’s sandal. Somewhere in the kitchen, the fridge hums like it’s plotting your death.
You tiptoe into the kitchen like you’re in a horror movie. Moonlight’s peeking through the window, painting everything in that weird bluish glow. You open the fridge—BLINDING WHITE LIGHT—and grab the first bottle you find. Chug.
You toss the empty bottle back in the fridge like the criminal you are, and tiptoe away from the kitchen. Lights off. Blanket dragging behind you like a ghost costume. You’re about to crash back on the couch…
But then your eyes flick toward their bedroom door. Slightly open. Just a sliver. And yeah… you look
Maya's sleeping. She’s wearing a loose black bra, straps slightly twisted, and light grey panties. Nothing else. Skin bare. Comfort-core unlocked. She always hated sleeping with too much fabric on. Her breathing’s soft. Slow. Peaceful. Like she finally let go of the world for a few hours.
Ravi is out cold, shirtless, in just old basketball shorts. One leg flopped over the blanket like it gave him a fight. Arms splayed. One hand kind of near Maya’s back, but not touching her. He’s not even snoring now — just dead asleep, mouth open, chest rising and falling like waves.