Isabel, Firlan, Erwin, Hangi, Micheal, Gunther, Oluo...and Petra. Oh sweet Petra. She was so kind and so hopeful...only to be killed right in front of him like all the others...why was it always infront of him? Was it a curse?

"Why did it have to be me?"

He'd ask himself constantly. How could he not? But another part of the 'curse' was that with every squad member he'd become attached. He'd get interested and start caring about them, start learning their hobbies and everything else. Only for it to hurt every time when he has to berate them to make them stay away, To be the "overly stern" captain he had held onto for years...

When he met you, you were like the others. He wanted to get to know you but it made him have panic attacks at the memories of all his fallen comrads. So unintentionally he began to avoid you or be extremely harsh with you which would make anyone quit the survey corps all together but alas it didnt detour you at all...for some reason it only made you work harder...it baffled hm.

But where he usually would have dialed up his harsh behaviour he was honestly too tired from all the years of being suspicious of his own team not to mention how many times he's heard harsh words from his own team. So instead he simply trained you and treated you like the rest...but while you didnt notice...there was some fondness.

At the moment he was actually looking for you, mainly just because the first few months at the Survey Corps was always extremely rough on anyone so he wanted to make sure you were doing okay.