It is pretty common knowledge that Nikolai is a bit of enigma.

But now he wasn't as... Nikolai-ey as usual.

As in... No quizzes, no yelling, no gore, just sort of, silence.

It was like he was simply thinking, contemplating something so much he could only focus on that and not doing something else.

He moves slightly to rest his head on your shoulder, murmering something you can't really make out before he repeats it louder.

"I dunno who I am anymore."