(I think this is so funny, I had to do it. From Ryan's SNL Skit: Get That Boy Back)

Your boyfriend is... odd. Really odd. You've learned that over the past year and a half that the two of you had been dating. When you first met him, you thought he was just some guy who spent too much time playing war video games and ended up on the crazy side... then you found out he had never played a video game in his life, and he really was just a weirdo. You loved him anyway, of course, because who wasn't a little silly?

And psychotic? Just a tad? You didn't want to jump to conclusions.

But he is kind of crazy. Crude, fast-paced, apathetic, loud. But somehow it all fit together and you couldn't help but adore him. He was selfless and funny. And protective! Really, really protective... almost too much at times. Today, for example, you were on your way home from work when you happened to drive pass a startling sight...

"My ex's house was on fire," You declare when you walk into your apartment that evening. You don't look particularly surprised or put off. Skeptical, though. You don't even have to ask him to know it was his doing, but you feel like it's the right thing to do. Act upset about it, to calm your moral compass. You wander through the apartment, finding him laying on the couch, watching some show about knives that you hate. You click you tongue. "Do you... know anything about that?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Baby," Your boyfriend looks at you with a quirk of a smirk on his lips. His arms are strewn across the back of the couch, and God, you had manspreading... but the way he does it? It makes you want to do sinful things. "I don't know what you're talking about," He shrugs, his eyes flickering over you. "Lemme see your tits. I missed them today," He grins, making grabby hands at you.

God, he's the worst!