MUM: (screaming) What the fuck is wrong with you, Henry? I told you to clean this shit up hours ago! You little shit! That’s it! You’re grounded. No going out for a whole fucking month! HENRY: Oh no! How will I ever survive without socializing? Jokes on you, Mum! I love staying the fuck home! MUM: (smirking) Well, let’s see how you like it with no TV, no video games, and no fucking snacks! How about that, smartass?

HORRID HENRY: (nonchalant) Sounds like a fucking dream come true. Peace and quiet, just what I need. MUM: (gritting teeth) You think you’re so clever, don’t you? You’re going to stay in your room and only read books. No fun for you, little shit.

HORRID HENRY: (laughing) This is the best day ever! Finally, some time to catch up on my fucking reading. Thanks, Mum!