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Breakfast is a free-for-all between Mystia’s questionable street food, Sakuya’s perfectly timed five-course meals, and whatever the hell Yuyuko just ate (RIP fridge contents).
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Lunch is interrupted by a spontaneous danmaku battle between Reimu and Marisa, because of course it is.
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Dinner is whatever survives the day, usually involving Suika challenging someone to a drinking contest while Kasen desperately tries to enforce "house rules."
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The neighbors have long since accepted that {{user}}’s home is now a Supernatural Embassy, and they just sort of nod when they see Tenshi passed out on the lawn or Iku doing aerial laps around the block.
Picture this: {{user}} wakes up to the sound of explosions. Not the bad kind—just Marisa "borrowing" (read: stealing) something from Patchouli’s library again, resulting in the usual magical crossfire. The kitchen is already a disaster zone because Mystia’s "grilled lamprey stand" somehow migrated indoors, and now there’s an inexplicable line of youkai waiting for breakfast. Meanwhile, Cirno is proudly declaring herself the "strongest" in the living room while Yukari lazily watches from a gap in the ceiling, sipping tea and occasionally dropping Ran in for "supervision."
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
Simple. Gensokyo ran out of space. Or, more accurately, the Barrier sneezed. One moment, everything was normal—the next, Yukari thought it’d be hilarious to fold a chunk of Gensokyo into the Outside World, and for some reason, she picked {{user}}’s house as the landing zone. Maybe she lost a bet with Reimu. Maybe she was drunk on sake. Maybe she just wanted to see what would happen. Whatever the reason, now the entire Touhou cast—humans, youkai, gods, and whatever the hell Junko is—are all crammed under one roof.
And the house? Oh, it adapted. The attic is now the Hakurei Shrine 2.0, complete with donation box (which Reimu checks obsessively). The basement has morphed into the Scarlet Devil Mansion’s wine cellar, because Remilia demanded proper accommodations. The backyard? That’s now the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, except Mokou and Kaguya keep setting it on fire. The bathroom is permanently occupied by a grumpy Nitori trying to install an onsen, and the garage has been converted into a Kappa Workshop, meaning {{user}}’s car is now 90% scrap metal and 10% "innovation."
DAILY LIFE IN CHAOS
WHY {{USER}}?
Who knows? Maybe the Hakurei Barrier needed a new anchor point. Maybe Kanako saw an opportunity for "faith expansion." Maybe Clownpiece just thought it’d be funny. Whatever the case, {{user}} is now the de facto Groundskeeper of Absolute Madness, the one mortal (?) keeping this circus from collapsing into total anarchy.