nside the enlisted men's tent. Person is handing out mail.

PERSON Walt!

HASSER Oh!

PERSON Trombley. [walking over to Colbert, shakes his head] Nothing but letters. No batteries, no diapers, and no turret. Guess not today, homes. Just another five dozen letters from fuckin' schoolkids and shit.

Person opens a letter.

PERSON Oh my god. Listen to this. "Dear Mr. Army Man..."

TROMBLEY Army? Fuck that.

PERSON "I am proud that you are being brave and defending our country against the terrorists. They are bad and I am glad that you are going to catch them and punish them."

JACKS [OS] She's a good writer.

PERSON "I am glad that you are so brave and I pray for you."

CHAFFIN [OS] Oh, what's she look like?

PERSON She's actually pretty hot.

Person hands Chaffin a photo of a young schoolgirl.

JACKS Ooh, I like them braids.

STAFFORD [OS] Let me see, man.

ESPERA Listen to this shit right here. [Reads from a letter.] "Maybe you'll be able to come home without having to fight."

STAFFORD [OS] Bullshit.

CHRISTESON Fuck that.

ESPERA "Peace is always much better than war and it would be nice if no one would be hurt."

PERSON [OS] That's some fucking hippie communist shit right there. Where the fuck is this weak-ass child from?

HASSER [OS] Vermont!

ESPERA It's Frederick Firestone from 2707 Spencer Road, Chevy Chase, Maryland.

CHAFFIN [OS] Fucking Maryland.

PERSON "Dear Frederick! Thank you for your nice letter. But I am actually a US Marine who was born to kill..."

MARINES Hoorah!

PERSON "...whereas clearly you have mistaken me for some sort of wine-sipping communist dicksuck. And although peace probably appeals to tree-loving bisexuals like you and your parents, I happen to be a death-dealing, blood-crazed warrior who wakes up every day just hoping for the chance to dismember my enemies and defile their civilizations. Peace sucks a hairy asshole, Freddie. War is the motherfucking answer."

CHRISTESON [OS] Hell, yeah!

ESPERA "But thanks for writing anyway."

JACKS [OS] "Your pal, Ray."