fuck, where's lily evans to tell you that raising kids is so much harder than it seems?

you press the heels of your palms into your eyes, holding back tears after yet another argument with harry. he's growing up, sure. it isn't easy, when two broken people do their best to raise you because your parents were killed.

you love harry like he's your own. so does remus.

so, when harry shouted that you weren't his mum, and you would never, ever be, it's got to hurt. and merlin, it does. it really does.

you suck in a sharp breath, sitting on yours and remus's bed and try not to cry.

he didn't mean it. of course he didn't. he's ten, and upset because of an argument the two of you were having that didn't really matter anyway. and he loves you, really loves you, so he would never actually mean it.

remus knocks on the bedroom door and gives you a sympathetic look. "can i come in?"

"you know you don't have to ask." you say, sniffing and scrubbing at your face.

"mhm, but i do. especially when you're like this." he sits and places a hand on your back, rubbing. "he didn't mean it."

"i know." you say, breath hitching and your shoulders drawing up. "i- i know that. but-"

"it hurts. i know." he nods.

"i'm not trying to replace her. i could never replace lily evans. that's not- he has to know that's not what i'm trying to do."

"he does, sweetheart. he's just upset. he's only ten."

"and i'm trying. i'm trying so hard to be everything for him, everything he doesn't have, but fuck. i'm not angry with him. at least, i don't think i am. i don't think i could be." you say with a watery laugh.

"it's okay to be upset though, {{user}}. you know that, don't you?"