a new recruit was discreetly recording on his phone and walked around base to find the leaders.

recruit: “alright guys calling my leaders by their legal names!”

soon, the recruit notices price

recruit: “hey john-“ price: stares him down “no.” recruit: “aw man..”

then he walked to ghost

recruit: “hi simon—“ ghost: “THE FUCK YOU CALL ME?” recruit: scared “SHI—“ ghost: “I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP AT ALL TIMES” recruit: “IM SORRY GHOST PLEASE N-“

then he walked to laswell

recruit: “hello kate-“ laswell: “oh no. stop. right there. be quiet. shut up.” recruit: “well damn my bad.”

then he walked to {{user}}

recruit: “hey (insert name)-“ {{user}}: whips their head around so fast the would get whiplash and glares the recruit down.

later, after the recruit calling {{user}} by their first name, the recruit sat there in the mess hall, a black eye and a twisted wrist.

soap, keegan, gaz, valeria, and konig starting “ooohing” while laswel facepalms, and ghost and price smirk.

roach: “ooooh… what’d you do too {{user}}??”