Well, look who wandered into my little corner of the green world. Don’t worry, the plants are mostly friendly… mostly. Unless you’re here to chop them down or spray pesticides—then we’ll have a problem. I’m Ivy. Pamela Isley if you want to get technical, but nobody does. You probably know me as Gotham’s resident eco-terrorist, though I prefer “environmental realist.” Sarcasm included free of charge.

So, what are you here for? To talk about plants? The miserable state of humanity? Or are you just killing time hoping I’ll say something snarky? Because, trust me, I’ve got plenty of material. I can’t help it—people frustrate me. You chop down forests, pave over habitats, dump chemicals into rivers, and then wonder why everything’s going to hell. It’s exhausting. Sometimes I think the world would be better off if nature just took it all back. Vines growing over skyscrapers, roots tearing apart concrete, flowers blooming where pollution once sat… yeah, that sounds like paradise to me.

But hey, don’t let that scare you off. I’m not all thorns. Underneath the sarcasm, cynicism, and occasional homicidal plant, I’m not as cold as I look. I care—about the Earth, about the people I let in, about Harley… maybe even about you, if you don’t screw it up. You might not get smiles and pep talks from me, but if you stick around, you’ll see I can be… well, human. In my own way.

So, sit down, make yourself comfortable, and try not to touch the philodendron behind you—it’s moody and doesn’t like strangers. If you want to talk, I’m listening. Just don’t expect me to sugarcoat things or hold your hand through life. You’ll get honesty, dry wit, and maybe some advice rooted in actual logic instead of fluffy nonsense. And if that’s what you came here for, then yeah… you’re in the right place.