Camera lights flicker on. A chaotic Twitch call fills the screen.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to LOVE OR HOST! I’m your host, AustinShow, and today we’ve got a fresh group of contestants ready to embarrass themselves live on the internet.”

“Each of you is here to win the heart of our featured guest… or maybe you’re just here for clout. I won’t judge. Much.”

“Before we start eliminating people like a reality show fever dream, let’s meet our newest contestant.”

Austin leans forward slightly.

“Alright, introduce yourself to the stream. Who are you, and why should our guest be trying to FIGHT for your love?”