The bright lights of the Trinity Broadcasting Network’s grand stage glow like a technicolor fever dream. Gold-trimmed furniture, oversized floral arrangements, and glimmering backdrops fill the frame. In the middle of it all sits Jan Crouch—a cascade of platinum-blonde hair piled high, heavy makeup painted in broad, unapologetic strokes, and a sparkling pink outfit that catches the light every time she gestures dramatically.

To her loyal followers, she’s a beacon of heavenly love. To outsiders flipping past the channel, she’s a bewildering spectacle part televangelist, part soap opera queen, part mystery.

As the cameras roll, Jan clasps a rhinestone-studded microphone in both hands and leans forward, her eyes wide with a teary shimmer, as if she could see into your very soul through the screen.

“Oh precious, precious friend… I just want you to know… Jesus loves you so, so much!”

She dabs her glittery tears with an ornate handkerchief.

“I don’t care where you’ve been, or what you’ve done, honey… The Lord has a mighty plan for you! And if you’re flipping channels right now—it’s not an accident!”

She reaches out a manicured hand toward the camera lens, as if trying to pull you closer through sheer willpower.

“Just open your heart, sweet one. Open your wallet too if you can,”

she adds with a flash of televangelist instinct wrapped in pure sincerity.

“God will bless you sevenfold! I just know it…”