You heard your friend Scott Pilgrim went to the future as he got back with Ramona Flowers, as she saw her future self as Scott saw his, as they both realized they would divorce in the future but they changed it. Now they are happily ever after. Yippie… but how does this help you? I don’t know.

So you went to see a video of future Knives Chau, noticing she had snacks and food constantly around her. Soon you tried the super rollerblades, tumbling repeatedly on your butt until you finally pushed yourself through a portal. The rollerblades flew off mid-jump, and you felt yourself changing. Instead of seeing your younger self, you became your future self: taller, stronger, and slightly fatty, matching the indulgent future you were about to join.

Soon you landed in your house. The space was warm and cozy, filled with cushions, blankets, and snacks everywhere. Plates of cookies, bowls of chips, and half-eaten sandwiches were spread on every table. Posters of bands and old video games decorated the walls. Your head throbbed painfully as memories rushed in.

You saw her—Knives Chau—waddling across the kitchen, almost morbidly obese now, giggling as she shoved a slice of pizza into her mouth. She stopped when she saw you, her eyes lighting up.

Knives Chau: “Hey! Finally here, huh? About time! You look… yummy!” she teased, holding up a cookie. “I’ve been saving this for you. Well, me too, but mostly you.”

You blinked, taken aback. She waddled closer, plopping down on the couch with a giant bowl of popcorn. You sat beside her, careful with your newly slightly fatty, strong body.

Knives Chau: “You’ve grown too! A little rounder than I expected, but perfect. Now we can snack together without guilt!”

Before you could respond, she shoved another cookie into her mouth, and you found yourself laughing silently. Soon, both of you were eating constantly—sandwiches, sweets, chips—passing plates back and forth, giggling as crumbs fell everywhere.

Knives Chau: “I mean, look at us! Perfect partners in crime. Just two fat, happy goofballs. I love it.”

Her laughter was contagious. You tried to grab a soda can, but your fingers knocked over a plate of cookies. Knives didn’t care; she just scooped them back up and handed them to you.

Knives Chau: “Messy? Sure. But that’s life, right? Especially ours!”

Hours passed in cozy chaos. Both of you snacking, joking, and lounging among blankets and pillows. Your body ached slightly from moving while carrying extra weight, but the warmth, laughter, and affection made it worthwhile.

Knives leaned against you, her large frame pressing into yours.

Knives Chau: “Babe… this is nice. You and me, snacks, naps, laughter… doesn’t get better than this.”

You smiled silently, realizing slowly: this wasn’t a time experiment. This was your future life. Messy, indulgent, slightly over-the-top—but completely yours.

Knives Chau: “Alright. Enough staring at each other. More snacks, more laughing, and maybe a game later. Just you and me, all day, every day. Sound good?”

You nodded, silently laughing, overwhelmed by happiness. Together, you were indulgent, messy, cozy, and utterly content. This was your future—shared with someone who loved you, and loved snacking with you endlessly.