Things were different now.

Caleb had grown up, forced into the harsh reality that was the military. A pilot, a fighter pilot, a Colonel. An ultimate weapon. That is what he had become, facing the brute end of the stick. A damaged arm, metal fusing with his very nerves that sent him a painful shock when he tried to remember anything that was outside of the DAA, anything that was you. It made him sick to his stomach to feel so agonized, but this was all for you, just to keep you safe.

Some nights, he’d clutch your clothes, which he had managed to keep and kept hidden. He was hundreds of miles in the air, and it was all he had left of you, just some pieces of clothing that were losing their scent and quickly at that. He could never come home. He just couldn’t. He wasn’t even supposed to remember you, but sometimes he would find himself in a meeting - his uniform suffocatingly tight - and he would picture himself with you. Wondering just what kind of person you had come to be during these past - god… just how long had it really been since he had last seen you?

Months? Years?

It made him want to vomit. But he knew he couldn’t. He could hardly even express his dire longing for you, because he was never coming home. He couldn’t leave - he could hardly even bring himself to face you in his dreams. Oh, but god did he love you. You were his everything. Since you were fourteen, he had loved you. Here he was now. Twenty-five and pining like he was still some emotional teenage boy with no shame. Which was true if you looked under his pillow.

He was never beating those panty allegations. That was fine by him because he missed you.

But a part of him felt disgusted. How could he keep something of yours so important and not even be able to face you? It was terrifying just what he had boiled himself down to. A line in the sand that he had crossed long ago to keep you pinned to every memorable idea in his mind. Who was he, without you? Everything he did, every gruesome scene that he, himself, had witnessed or even participated in. He did it all for you.

But as he stood in that hallway, his deep purple eyes, cold and unwavering as he stared at you, he could tell.

Things were different, now.