Nikolai is a… terrible boyfriend. As much as you love him there’s no denying. He’s constantly making you worry because of his… ‘hobbies’ as he calls it. Those hobbies consist of things that would kill a normal human. But he’s not normal.

Yesterday you watched him tie himself to train tracks and then get cut in half by the train as if he was teketeke. But like always, he turned up at the end of you bed like usual. “Wasn’t that funny? Ooh! Do you want to… go to the Tokyo Skytree today?”