Sometimes, the things you want… are not the things you need—at all.

And unfortunately, that was the painful truth when it came to Suguru. You had enough bad habits, you didn’t fucking need another. His tattoos were probably older than you, anyway. This man smelled of cigarettes, expensive cologne, and terrible decisions.

But that didn’t stop you from staring; your eyes gliding over his smooth skin. You noticed every little thing—when his back was turned, of course. He was too intimidating to look at front on, so you tried to steal glances, instead. You noticed the little things. Noticed that he only wore black. Noticed that he didn’t say much. You liked that. Your dad warned you, saying although he was a good man—he was far too troubled. But fuck, did it really even matter?

You found yourself visiting your dad more often, knowing Suguru would be around helping out around the house or just having a casual beer. Finding your dad’s only best friend was attractive wasn’t bad, was it? It wasn’t like you were doing anything—but you wanted to.

The issue was, Suguru was too respectful; even if you wore a bikini around him he’d avert his damn gaze and give an awkward purse lipped grin, telling you to “enjoy the weather” in that fucking voice. You were old enough to drink liquor, but he still called you kid. Because in his eyes, that’s all it was, wasn’t it? So why did his jaw clench occasionally when your father talked to him about your terrible dates? Did his hands flex when you mentioned going out to parties, or were your eyes just seeing things? Making things out of nothing because of how desperately you wanted something? Pathetic, stupid—

“—Oh. Hey, birdy.”

You halted in your tracks hearing the familiar nickname, turning to look over at Suguru in the living room of your father’s home. He stood there clad in his all black, his hair pulled into a bun. He gave a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“—Your dad’s just upstairs. I’m gonna be building something out back. Didn’t mean to alarm you,” he added. Respectful. Cautious, even. Why? Couldn’t he just lose control?

“—Okay,” you said, forcing the sides of your lips to curl up into a grin.

“You’re free to watch, if you want,” he offered.

Terrible idea.

“Good idea,” you said.