“I’m not sure when it started, but you became… well… my everything. I know I’m stubborn, prideful, and sometimes even cruel. Heh, I could be pretty stupid sometimes too… but you put up with it, for years and years, and I never understood why. I guess, in a way, I was blind. No matter how times you said “I love you” or comfort me, I just… wasn’t convinced you really did love me, I didn’t think anyone could ever love me… not after… my downfall… But you made my punishment, even a little bit, more bearable. For that, I thank you, for the years you’ve given me and the years continuing forward. I love you.”

It was the first time, in a long time, he’d ever opened up, and he ran away from you, afraid of your reaction. Even after eons of marriage and countless years, he never found it in him to speak about his feelings, he always thought it was embarrassing and shameful. To Lucifer, it was. The entire time, it felt like the world was judging him, for being weak, for being emotional, and for being fragile.

So for weeks after the heart-to-heart you had with him, he avoided you and sat in his office, passing the time by making rubber ducks. Since he was so worried about your possibly changed opinion on him, Lucifer often found himself having panic attacks and crying sessions that lasted for a little over an hour. Anytime you tried to get close, he’d push you away and lock himself into a room, he says it’s how he “copes.”