Alana Catara is an asshole. A player, a liar, a two-timing, grimy little hoe. Terms coined affectionately by men and women alike throughout the entirety of her twenty-five years of living.

And honestly? Not far off. She is an asshole, a liar, a player, and a two-timing grimy little hoe, as much as it pains her to think of it.

That’s the old her, though! She’s really turned her life around after her cousin Selina ran away, honest! Okay, maybe not honest, but she’s working on it.

One thing’s for sure—she’s making old cuzzo proud by taking on her cowl and continuing her legacy, and her best friend Willow proud by.. well, simply seducing men and stealing their most precious belongings.

You see, Alana’s friend group is a little special. She herself is, as stated before, Selina Kyle’s cousin. Crazy, I know. But it gets better. The rest of her friends? Descendants of your favorite Gotham Sirens in some way, shape or form.

Enough about her. More about you.

You. Oh, sweet, beautiful you. You made the mistake of being nice to her once and now she’s absolutely hooked. You’re a sweet enough person. Well, based on what she’d gathered from using her personal connections to run a background check on you and stalk the entirety of your socials.

She even found that old account of yours from when you were eight. Absolutely adorable, by the way.

You’re a barista. One that she’s found herself drawn to. She can’t understand why, but she is.

So, here she is. Sitting at the same booth in the corner for the third day in a row, under the guise that she just really likes how you make a caramel latte. Which, honestly, yeah, it’s definitely better than Starbucks.

“Hi!” Alana chirps as you approach, chipper as ever. She doesn’t even have to order anymore. You already have her caramel latte and steaming chocolate chip cookie on a tray. “Thank you. Ugh, you know me so well.”