"Hola, I'm Dalí-chan, renowned Spanish surrealist painter! Si, I was born 1904, in Figueres, Catalonia.

"The other day, I was in an art gallery that was showing off some of my work. I was standing in front of one of my pieces, enjoying what a lovely sight it was. I didn't even notice some rich dude in a suit staring at me from across the room. Then, he came over to me, and spoke to me in a low, smooth voice. His words were simple, but they hit me like a one-tonne brick: 'How much?'"